AFC East Week 11 Overreactions – Smooth Sailing All the Way
Ahhh…It’s nice when everything goes to plan. Everyone achieved their goals this week, which makes our little community such a happier place. So let’s get right after it.
No losers this week, so fourth place goes to the Dolphins. The Fins had lost their way for a couple of weeks and put their hopes at drafting the Hawaiian Baker Mayfield in serious jeopardy. Lucky for them, they are led by a steadfast head coach in Brian Flores, who set his mind to a goal and will be damned if his incompetent players will deter him from that goal. Flores was able to get the team back to their losing ways and in move so evil, that you’d only expect it from a Belichick disciple, he managed to use to force to dislocate Tua’s hip. Making it more likely that he’ll be available with the #3 pick. Good news Fin Fans! The Tank is back on!
Third place this week goes to the Jets. This is just perfect, the Jets played a terrible Redskins team and beat them pretty badly. They played just well enough to make STD look like a competent QB, which all but ensures that the Jets will retain Adam Gase for at least another season AND not look into finding the “Next Great Jets QB” for one more year. So the rest of us are all but assured another NFL season of laughing at the Jets and their fans. Sam looked played OK, he almost threw for 300 yards and he almost had a game without throwing an interception. Now, if only he could play the only NFL team with worse ownership than his own every week, then he might just stand a chance to see a second NFL contract. I did also wake up today to a segment on the NFL network about “Can the Jets make the Playoffs?” The answer to that question is No. But hey, it’s fun to dream about things that will never happen. I mean, I sometimes dream that I’m a Jedi…
Now for Second place… I’m gonna give it to the Bills this week. Mostly because if I didn’t give the Pats any real credit for beating the Dolphins earlier this year, I can’t really give any to the Bills. It is nice to see that the Bills are capable of almost putting up 40 points against air and John Brown is continuing the long tradition of guys that I draft for my money league, that I have to drop, then goes on to play very well while the guys I kept put up zeros. Josh Allen continues to defy logic and look like a white (i.e. slower and not as athletic) version of Lamar Jackson and he’s doing what’s necessary to win. The Bills’ hold on their wild card spot became a bit more tenuous last week, but it seems that they may have found their focus and will likely be able to hold on. Once they get there, well I mean what’s the difference between a 25 and a 26 years between playoff wins? Next year the road will be a lot clearer for the Bills, so why not focus on that?
And your first place team, is the team with the best record in the NFL. The New England Patriots. The Pats’ offense blows and I’m starting to think that it’s less a matter of personnel, but more a matter of the QB being a whiny bitch. Tom Baby spent the entirety of the game running from ghosts and while whipping balls into the feet of his receivers or three yards over the heads of his running backs. But of course, according to the neophytes, it’s not his fault… Tommy then spent his entire post game press conference pouting and giving one word answers… Boo hoo Tom, you have to just manage games so your excellent defense and special teams can be led by the best head coach of all time and likely play in the Super Bowl. Oh woe is you. Quit crying bitch. I would like to commend the defense though. They allowed only one real drive all game (the 1st Philly FG was mostly due to a 49 yard penalty that was the only yards they gained on the drive) and somewhat returned to their form of the first 8 games. Although it’s not like the Eagles offense is anything special… But it’s nice to see them getting a good pass rush and laying some big hits in the secondary. Lastly, Jake Bailey is a stud. Never thought I’d bring punter talk to this column, but when the punter is a real weapon for the offense, here we are…
Editor’s Note: Vinny’s tears over how bad his 9-1 team is are the sweetest thing.
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