The Sideline Report runs two fantasy leagues: Dynasty (where the cool kids play) and the D-League (where the cool kids fraternize with the help). Each week, pending the Bills making me want to end my life, I will post a recap of some of the best match ups, biggest blow outs, injuries and upcoming contests. Shouldn’t be too much of a problem…we’re two weeks in and I’m already eyeing October and the start of hockey season. Go Sabres!
Dynasty League
Up first, we have the Dynasty League. After toying with setting the record for most points in a week, Down with ODB registered the largest margin of victory this week with a victory of 68.10 points. This was achieved despite just over 4 points scored by the now injured Danny Woodhead. Woodhead’s future looks awfully grim at the moment. He could put no weight on his injured leg and was carted from the field. Landing on the IR for the second time in his career might very well be the end of the line for him. Tuck a Buck Express was hampered by loads of single digit performances and only 3 players who broke the 10 point barrier. The talent is definitely there, but it was a bad week at the office.
Dud’s Studs secured victory with the star power of Ryan Matthews on Monday night defeating the Direwolves 151.22-142.92 which was the smallest margin of victory. Direwolves left a huge receiving day on the bench with Travis Benjamin, but seriously…would you have sat Antonio Brown for him? Not likely. Though Will Fuller in for Allen Robinson could have been a wise choice. Dud moves to 2-0 and could put themselves on top of the league this up coming week going against ODB.
As far as injuries go it can’t get much worse for Keenan & Kelce. Not only did they lose a top flight WR in week 1 (Keenan Allen), they’ve also now likely lost 2015’s league leading rushing in Adrienne Peterson with a torn meniscus. Apparently in that beautiful new stadium they built in the tundra of Minneapolis, they forgot to budget for a cart and poor AP had to hop back to the locker room with assistance. You always hope for the best, but just like Woodhead this isn’t looking good for Peterson and what’s worse is this could very well be his last rodeo. A torn meniscus isn’t easy to come back from when you’re young. Peterson is ancient by running back standards in the NFL. Jerick McKinnon and Matt Asiata have immediate uptick in value, but with McKinnon slated to get 65% of the carries remember that Asiata is a TD vulture and would get most of the touches in the Red Zone.
Other RBs down for the count this week: Arian Foster (shocker…), Jonathan Stewart, Ameer Abdullah (now on IR), Rashad Jennings (hand injury), and Doug Martin (hamstring). PS: Seattle’s running backs are awful now. Just thought you should know. Start looking for trades or scraping the bottom of the waiver wire barrel. Don’t worry, that burnt smell down there is normal.
Best looking Dynasty Week 3 matchups are Evil Corp vs. Tuck a Buck Express and Keenan & Kelce vs FSociety. Both tilts have around a 1 point difference in the point spread.
Highest Weekly Score: Tyrod’s Taylor – 185.44
Lowest Weekly Score: Tuck a Buck Express – 90.82
D-League
The D League had the closest match up across both leagues this week with Dud’s Studs (yet again….seriously…pick a new name!) bringing their warmth and sunshine to the White Walkers and securing victory by a mere 2.84 points. Aaron Rodgers needed to score 22.26 points which on any other day would have been pedestrian. But Minnesota’s defense is nothing to sneeze at. All Rodgers had to do was not turn the ball over on his final two drives and the yards alone would have earned the needed points. But instead he fumbled and got picked. In the perfect example of all your eggs in one basket, White Walkers also have Danny Woodhead. He scored fewer than 5 points securing the victory for Dud. Between Big Ben, Deandre Hopkins, Larry Fitzgerald, Marvin Jones and Arizona’s defense crushing their projections this was a great matchup. Clearly Dud just wants to make this article as much as possible.
The largest margin of victory was I’m the Juggernaught’s 28.72 point win over Liquor Box. This was essentially achieved on the legs of Matt Forte who casually gutted the Bills defense while humming “Whistle While you Work.” It was an unfortunate draw for Liquor Box who would have defeated 6 other teams this week but not the buzz saw of Juggernaught.
Major trade news in the D-League this week where White Walkers traded Melvin Gordon to Liquor Box for Tajae Sharp. What would have been an equal trade was thrown drastically out of proportion on Sunday with Woodhead’s injury. Gordon receives a massive increase in value getting Woodhead’s job as a passing down back. Sharpe, while good, can’t make up for that value. Walkers ended up being fleeced in hindsight of less than 24 hours.
The other trade sees Evil Corp going on a fire sale of DeSean Jackson and Eddie Lacy and acquiring Dez Bryant and Derrick Henry from John’s Team. With Dez Bryant being force fed the ball now, and Henry always having the high upside of a rookie it’s a pretty solid trade. Once the Packers remember how offense is supposed to look Lacy should be valuable. I’m personally a DeSean Jackson hater. He’s burned me often so that seems like a cruddy pick up to me.
D League Waiver Wire has some solid options though there are some names you might rather put your head through a plate glass window than put on your team. Names like Mike Wallace. The Ravens wide out starts strong every year and then peters out by week 4. He’s currently available and has nearly 40 points in two weeks. Top RB option available (by points earned this season) is Jalen Richard of Oakland. This isn’t saying much. He has 22.4 fantasy points the bulk of which came on one play. However, we all know big plays can make or break you. If you’re looking to replace your RBs this week, you’d be better off looking to Fozzy Whittaker in Baltimore or Chris Thompson in Washington. These are both very dependent on what happens in front of them. Whittaker’s value takes a huge hit depending on Jonathan Stewart’s availability next week.
Looking forward to Week 3 matchups between I Love Boobs v. Dud’s Studs and John’s Team vs. Le’Veon A Bong. These are ultimate toss ups with each game projected to be within 3 points. So do us a favor and don’t disappoint, ok?
Highest Weekly Score: I’m the Jeggernaught – 178.92
Lowest Weekly Score: I love boobs – 103.80
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