Taiwanese News Sports Agency

By Luciano11

State of the Dolphins….the agony continues, the despair begins

OMG! Where do I start?
We have been reporting for months now what a mess there was down under; finally its all coming to light. Allow us to recap for you what has transpired this week, God knows by the time this gets published, it will be old news.

Steve Ross, he of the Dancing with the Stars Owners Edition decided it was time to remind us that he owns this team. He calls a special meeting at the stadium, where smoke signals are sent every hour, with his brain trust: Jeff The Red Neck Ireland, Dawn I will do Anything for a Promotion Aponte, Joe The Statue Philbin, and Sherman Old Man and the Field. What comes out? Nothing, Ross Dolphin style.

So we all go home, thinking the old fool was too busy drinking or checking out Dawn Aponte that he left things as is……..nope, think again. He awakes Monday morning form this long night of dreaming about Aponte and the Viagra he just purchased and decides yes, I am the owner!!! So the fool begins his carefully designed plan (it took a shower and a brain to come up with it):
1. Fire Sherman! Why? He doesn’t really know, but the fans, the media and Ireland said so……DONE!
2. Everyone was so happy!!! Ross felt like the king again, like the Lion in Lion King sitting on the edge being THE KING! After reflecting some more, he decides to fire Ireland too! The fans will love me and actually come to games!
Wow, this is nice he thinks, I’m in charge!!!, I am really in charge!!!
Once again, Miami has a future……. but what is that? I mean really! Who fires their OC, days later their GM, only to search for a GM while we look at OCs awaiting league ruling on Cry Baby Scandal preparing for the draft and FAs…..?
Ok, if that confused you, I get it, this is Miami, where people don’t follow sports for sports….as a blogger wrote this week, they follow sports if it makes them noticed…..a very superficial narcissist society doomed for years to come. The exact same reason why, you do not put a franchise in Los Angeles.

As we wrote before, Ireland needed to go, years ago! Nobody should ask you about your mom at a job interview, if they do, they are simply sick, and Ireland is a sick dude. He has done nothing, regardless of what dedicated fans say. Ireland was a scout that Parcells fell in love with, and as a joke he left him in charge in South Florida.

Sherman was brought in because he was Tanney’s baby sitter, and that assured them a continuity that should have turned into wins. It did, 7 and 8 of them, but it wasn’t enough. Now we ask, Is Tanney a real QB or a product of one guy coaching him at all levels?
Our prediction is simple. This franchise has been doomed by Marino years ago, and a replacement is what they have searched for. Tanney ain’t no Marino, he could throw a great deep ball. Tanney is a talented young kid who needed to sit behind a QB and learn for 3 years (yes Philbin, you of all people should have known that). Yet he did well under the circumstances, even if that fool of Ireland forgot to get him protection. Tanney will be most hurt by this transition, and before you know it his contract is up and renewal is not fiscally worth it for the new GM (who did not draft him to begin with). Tanney will follow Henne as a Fan created 2nd Marino that never happened.

Last, but not forgotten; how does the league discipline this team for allowing idiots to do idiotic things in the locker room? That can be the extra weight that really sinks this ship. Logic would tell you with Ireland gone, sweep it under the rug, however, Kaiser Goodell is not one that sweeps anything…it will be interesting.

The GM search will go on, and it will affect this franchise for a while, Ross needs to be smart this time and not hire the first Joe that comes along.

May the circus in South Florida continue on all year!

This week’s picks (because we are good at it):
Patriots over the Colts big!
Denver will murder the Chargers
San Fran will fall short to Cam
Seattle rattles Breese into mistakes

TNSA Special Report