Overreacting to a Slow Week

Hey there, some stuff happened last week; I think…It’s all turning into one big blur at this point…

Tom Brady’s appeal was supposed to have happened by now, so I was counting on that for some good material to write about…Let’s see…Oh yeah, Roger Goodell has taken the advice of the NFL’s lawyers and not stepped aside as the “independent” arbitrator in Brady’s appeal. This means that Mr. Brady will at the very least get a fair and impartial hearing. I mean Goodell is easily the person most likely to reverse the suspension and go against the wishes of the commissioner’s office right? At the very least I can be assured that I will have deflated footballs to write about for weeks and weeks to come…

Ok what else happened…? Hmmm…Oh yeah, the Pats have continued to push conventional wisdom and take the game into the next generation by continuing to ignore pass defense in a passing league. They did however bring back two old friends in Brandon “Kunta Kinte” Spikes and Dane “Teddy Bruschi Jr” Fletcher, furthering the theory that the league is no doubt moving toward a more run heavy game. Once again Belichick is miles ahead of the competition; the Pats run game looks to be among the top 15 in the league, thus ensuring another AFC East title. There have been some that questioned bringing back Spikes, a man who openly disparaged Our Lord and Savior Bill Belichick on his way out of town last week and who was too loud and untalented for even Rex Ryan to want to keep around in Buffalo. I however disagree. There are very few two down, run stuffing MLBs with a penchant for exposing themselves on the internet in this league. The fact that the Pats were able to snare such a rare commodity for the equivalent of a ham sandwich and a half a package of Peeps is a testament to Belichick and Kraft’s negotiating skills. And anyone who is anyone knows that winning the negotiations is where it all starts in the NFL.

OK, the other teams had to have done something, right? Oh yeah, some teams showed up at various practice facilities to run around in shorts! Well some guys from some teams…There were a few notable absences from Jets camp…Star defensive linemen Mohammed Wilkerson and Sheldon Richardson have decided to skip OTAs this year, no doubt because they are unhappy with their contract situations and are going to demand Suh level contracts or they will hold out. Sources close to each player say that the players each enjoy sunlight and require it to live. This can no doubt be interpreted as a shot at owner Woody Johnson who is known to hide from natural light at all costs.

In other news, the Jet’s #9 overall pick from a few years ago (and player who was hailed as the second coming of Revis) looks like he is enjoying his last days as a Jet. Dee Milliner’s shaky play and terrible injury history have him on the chopping block in New Jersey. But he should have no fear, that same shaky play and terrible injury history that is about to get him cut from the Jets is exactly what the forward thinking Bill Belichick covets in his defensive backs…

The Dolphins also started running around in shorts. The only news that I’ve heard coming out of Davie is that rookie WR, Devante Parker ran a route against Fins’ #1 corner Brent Grimes the other day. Parker couldn’t get any separation on the play, the throw from Tannehill was high and Grimes couldn’t stop parker from making the catch. So everyone screwed up…That’s a team that’s preparing to come up one game short of the playoffs if I’ve ever seen one…

I believe the Bills are still an NFL franchise.

That’s all I’ve got, would someone in our division please get drunk, punch a baby then lead a high speed chase through 6 states resulting in a 12 hour standoff and hostage situation so that I have something to write about next week? I mean I’m not asking for much…