Welcome to the AFC North weekly predictions!
Each week, our AFC North featured writers will list their picks for that week and be forced to explain why they voted as they did. Keep in mind that these picks are for entertainment purposes only, and in no way should be used to influence gambling or illegal activity, unless you’re smart enough to recognize that we know more than you because we publish things.
In week 11, The AFC North settlers had a solid 7-2 record, with Mr Crawford as the only one who noticed the Bengals are actually fall-ing apart. His 3-0 last week stuffs him into a tie for 2nd. Wernike may still be stuck in his wigwam somewhere in yonder fields.
The Steelers won predictably, the Ravens lost predictably, and the Bengals again underperformed, something that has been all too commonplace during their 2016 pilgrimage. If trend this continues, after 5+ years, ownership might actually start listening to fan frustration by harvesting a new team from a maize of available natives, coach to quarterback. Enough of the turkey cheese. Let’s just talk football.
Week 12 Games:
Thursday:
Pittsburgh Steelers (5-5) @ Indianapolis (5-5) 8:30 pm, NBC
Sunday:
Cincinnati Bengals (3-6-1) @ Baltimore Ravens (5-5), 1:00 pm, CBS
Sunday:
New York Giants (7-3) @ Cleveland Browns (0-11) 1:00 pm, FOX
This week, key injuries are at the forefront, and the AFC North should begin to take shape… or not. A win by the Steelers will move them a game from a wild card, and potentially give them sole possession of first in the division. A loss would drop them to two games out of a wild card, potentially three with tiebreakers. Then again they could also be tied for the division lead at 5-6, technically behind the Ravens due to tiebreakers.
A Ravens win will keep them in first and will also move them within a game of a wildcard, and will essentially eliminate the Bengals from playoff contention. A loss will give them the toughest path to a playoff spot considering their upcoming schedule and two game wild card deficit, and would give the Bengals a flicker of playoff hope. That said, with a Steelers loss, the Ravens would still be in first at 5-6.
A Browns win could amazingly drop them into a virtual tie with the 49ers for the #1 draft position as both teams would have one win with essentially the same strength of schedule percentage.
On to the predictions!
Michael Thompson’s picks (25-9-1, 2-1 last week):
Steelers @ Colts
Prior to the season, I would have scoffed at the notion that the Colts would have a chance against our salsa-dancing, Reefer smoking, buffet-destroying heroes. Then the Steelers turned into pumpkins when the clock struck October 17 in Miami. And then all of the Pittsburgh fans were sad, because their team turned pretty lame. But good fortune smiled on them this week as it appears as though the only good player on the Colts was concussed in his last game, so the Steelers will probably win this, keeping the ‘race’ for the AFC North alive.
Steelers 28, Colts 16
Bengals @ Ravens
Neither team is very good. The Ravens are at home and the Bengals’ season probably ended last week, so I’ll give the nod to Baltimore with the caveat that I have no faith in the probability that this team will go anywhere in the playoffs if they make it there.
Bengals 17, Ravens 23
Giants @ Browns
If you have never seen Howard the Duck, you really must. At least once. Though we learned later that George Lucas was very capable of making awful movies, at the time, he was riding high on the goodwill generated by creating the greatest science fantasy phenomenon of all time. Then came Howard the Duck. Most forget that Lucas only produced this movie. He didn’t direct it. Even so, in most people’s minds, the blame for it lies entirely on him. At any rate, if nothing else, you get to look at young Lea Thompson for a couple of hours and that’s worth something. If the spirit moves you to watch the Browns try to play football, expect carnage. Sheer carnage delivered by the mediocre New York Giants led by mediocre Eli Manning.
Giants 47, Browns 3
Jack Crawford’s picks (21-13-1, 3-0 last week):
Steelers @ Colts
No idea whatsoever. Each team has the ability to score a lot of points quickly, and each team has the ability to surrender points even more quickly. In a close, close call, I’ll give the nod to the home team, but not by much.
Steelers 27, Colts 30
Bengals @ Ravens
Giving this to Baltimore solely on the absence of bird killer A.J. Green. The Ravens should be able to expend their secondary to limit Cincinnati’s remaining receiving options.
Bengals 24, Ravens 27
Giants @ Browns
New week, the latest semi-healthy quarterback, and the same result for the Browns, as the Giants have enough talent to win a closer-than-expected game.
Giants 27, Browns 21
Paul Johansson’s picks (21-13-1, 2-1 last week):
Steelers @ Colts
If Andrew Luck was starting, the Colts would seem to have a slight advantage. Without, slight advantage Steelers as Frank Gore is unlikely to carry the offensive load, although he is Indy’s best bet for checkdowns and keeping the Steelers defense honest.
Steelers 22, Colts 20
Bengals @ Ravens
The Ravens have to win this game or the season is over. It’s the only kind of game that seems to bring any fire out of the Ravens unemotional quarterback. Combine this with Andy Dalton’s regression and AJ Green’s injury, and they should beat their divisional nemesis this time
Bengals 17, Ravens 27
Giants @ Browns
The Browns will again show a quarter or two of superiority, but not for 60 minutes.
Giants 24, Browns 20
Wernicke Korsakoff’s picks (16-12-1 after week 9):
Steelers @ Colts
Indy seems like a better place to have Thanksgiving dinner
Steelers 20, Colts 30
Bengals @ Ravens
Baltimore has a much more traditional style Turkey Day with a German flare
Bengals 24, Ravens 27
Giants @ Browns
Nothing says Pilgrim turkey dinner like mechanical floats and the threat of ISIS in NY.
Giants 27, Browns 21
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