The NFL Season is coming up this week and all the teams are technically still in it (except the Oakland Raiders and Cleveland Browns) and optimism is abound. For the AFC East there is one team that is consistently on top but has some controversy of the starting QB and his creepy relationship with his trainer. The other three teams are trying to prove that they aren’t the worst team in the NFL and that they didn’t make a huge mistake this offseason. We will break down each team and the prediction for their record.
Buffalo Bills: Could Be Worse Edition
The Buffalo Bills made the playoffs last year through some luck and the magic of clapping. This offseason on offense they tore down the majority of that offensive line and traded the best Bills QB since Jim Kelly for just a third. Now we know that Nathan Peterman will be starting QB this year and we also know the offensive line might be the worst in the NFL (despite one Bills fan saying everything is fine). The Wide Receiver and Tight End positions are surprisingly better than last year (shocking) and the Running Back position had a substantial upgrade with Mike Tolbert not longer on the roster. However at QB they took a decent step back as Nathan Peterman will not replace the solid steady play of Tyrod Taylor. The offensive line will also be worse as Vlad Ducasse is starting despite being a waste of a roster spot and the Bills still have Juan Castillo as OL Coast (hooray cronyism). The only bright spot is the defense will be better as the secondary is still stacked and the linebacker position had a substantial upgrade in Edmunds who will be the Luke Kuechly of the Bills. However the offense will be offensive which unless the defense gets 5 pick sixes a game, will probably struggle to score enough to win.
Prediction: 8 Games Under .500
New York Jets: LOL
The New York Jets made the best signing of the offseason in signing Teddy Bridgewater who was their best QB in franchise history despite ever taking an official snap. However in typical Jets fashion, they traded him away because why not. The Jets GM has shown in his tenure he has no idea what he is doing as evident with the Christian Hackenberg pick a couple years ago and the trade up for Sam Darnold (since the last USC QB worked out so well). They also still think Josh McCown is worth a bunch of money as they chose him over Teddy. The only bright spot is despite all this ineptness from the GM, Todd Bowles has done a surprisingly good job keeping the team competitive. The Jets will be starting Sam Darnold who like the last Jets QB from USC, is a turnover machine which will mean some good laughs among other AFC East fans. The defense will be good as Todd Bowles has done a good job in that department but like last year, they will miss the playoffs and probably fire the wrong guy….again.
Prediction: 6 Games Under .500
Miami Dolphins: At Least We Didn’t Overpay Landry
The Miami Dolphins are an interesting team. They have the Jeff Fisher of QBs in Ryan Tannehill and they are never in a position to get an upgrade. They also have Mike Tannenbaum as their de facto GM which means terrible free agent contracts which hurt the surprisingly good drafting they do. On offense the offensive line is a position which since 2012 they have never been able to be average and that will still be the case. Wide Receiver they are hoping DeVante Parker will be good and they also have some guy named Caroo who one Dolphin fan loves. On defense the front four will get better since they finally got rid of Suh and their pass rush will be very good. Overall the team isn’t great or bad and will hover around .500 all year
Prediction: 2 Games Under .500
New England Patriots: LOL You Lost to Nick Foles
The New England Patriots are easy to figure out. They got 12-4 every year and will make the AFC Championship game. On offense they have the best QB in NFL History (until Nathan Peterman rules the NFL next year) and their defense will be good enough. It is really hard to find a glaring hole on this team that would cause them to miss the playoffs. That is why we focus on the circus off the field with Belichick and Tom Brady not seeing eye to eye with each other because of Brady’s relationship with his trainer. The offensive line will probably be a problem due to health but they also have the best WR in NFL History in Chris “7-11” Hogan. Defense will be fine and the Patriots will win the AFC East since it is a joke and have homefield advantage in the AFC thanks to Al Riveron overruling TD catches.
Prediction: 8 Games Over .500
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