It was another week of normalcy in the AFC East, the bad teams were bad and the good team was good. So, without further ado…
In last place, no longer floating belly up, but bloated and sunken to the bottom of the sea to be picked apart by lobsters and other marine scavengers, we find the corpse of the Miami Dolphins. The Fins traveled across the entire country this week in order to embarrass themselves and their fans in a whole new time zone. We all know that the three win Chargers are a true test for any team, but the way that the Fins sucked was really something to behold. They allowed the diminutive Danny Woodhead, who had been invisible for over a month, to shred them for four scores and the game was never even close. Ryan Tannehill continues to prove that he’s worth every penny of that new deal and Big Sue seems to be getting fatter by the second. All in all, fans of the AFC East should rejoice because the Dolphins are going to suck for another two decades. That’s all the time I’m going to waste on them.
And now the Buffalo Bills. It took a lot longer than usual this season, but the Bills are the Bills and they’ve officially destroyed all trust that any of their fans had in their organization and have cemented themselves as challengers for a top ten pick for years to come. Oh, you want to talk about the game? OK…The Bills found new and improved ways to suck on Sunday while they allowed Kirk Freaking Cousins to torch them for four TD passes and over three hundred yards. The Bills’ defense has come apart at the seams, the only remedy at this point is to tear it apart this offseason and start over. At least some of those guys will get a chance to win a title in New England. Now the offense…Tyrod was OK, he still completes just over 50% of his passes, but he has been a threat as a runner and he’s making less mistakes…So you can be sure Rex will “coach him up” and ensure he throws four picks this week. All in all, the Bills are a sad story, their coach just can’t get up for games that aren’t against the Pats. Maybe Bills fans can write the league and ask for 16 games a year against New England. I mean, you’ll be 0-16, but at least the coach will try…
Ok, now the Jets. We say all of the time that the only thing that counts is the W, but there are rare occasions where a W is really an L and this was one of those occasions. Saturday night’s Jets/ Cowboys game was an abortion of a game and showed just how not elite the Jets are. Allowing yourselves to be physically manhandled by the Dallas Cowboys is as unacceptable as it get in today’s NFL. If the Cowboys had a JV level QB, that game would have been a blowout in their favor. Fitz was December Fitz, throwing awful pass after awful pass and Chris Ivory just plain sucked. I can’t tell you how many times I literally laughed out loud at my TV watching that game. Really if the refs weren’t completely incompetent when applying the rules for reviews, that game would have been an easy win for the Cowboys. Oh well, the Jets get to play the Pats this week with their slim playoff hopes on the line while the Pats are playing to seal up home field advantage throughout the playoffs. Good luck Jets.
Now for the only real winner of the week, the New England Patriots. The pats had a nice scrimmage against the Titans on Sunday afternoon. They got to work out their new Hawaiian sensation, Joey Iosefa, who is sure to become a cult hero in New England for days to come. The Offense looked good in the first half and bad in the second, but the defense was fairly stout throughout. Although, the defense did have a little difficulty when the Titans QB of the future, Zach Mettenberger got in the game. It was a ho him kind of day for the Pats, although they did suffer a few injury setbacks with Danny Amendola and Donta Hightower, but those fellas look like they should be good for the divisional round after a few weeks of rest. The Pats can ensure that the road to San Francisco goes through Foxboro with a win this week in New Jersey and I’m sure Bon Jovi will be on hand. I wonder if Roger will stop by?
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