MIAMI DOLPHINS PLAYOFF HOPES ARE ALIVE AND WELL

Spot The Looney class="post-date-wrap left relative post-date-mob">

August 15, 2013

IF THEY CAN TURN TO JELLY, THE MIAMI DOLPHINS ARE IN THE PLAYOFFS. IT’S A MYTH.

PART ONE:
Reading about the Dolphins has been aggravating me for a few days. My issues are with whether or not they can “GEL” and if they really need to.

Gel – jellify gellify

1. to make into a jelly; reduce to a gelatinous state.
2. to turn into jelly; become gelatinous.

“Now those (the 2013 Miami draft and FA additions) personnel need, to ”GEL” in order for the team to return to the postseason for the first time since 2008”.
“Besides helping spread out the defense, can quarterback Ryan Tannehill and Mike Wallace “GEL” together and be very productive?”

That’s it folks. If this year’s Miami team can turn into jelly — watch out. — You deal with that one personally because what really bothering me is reading part two over and over on the internet.[dropcap][/dropcap]

PART TWO:
“The Miami Dolphins can’t win this year because they spent too much in free agency and so many new players can’t “GEL” into a team in just one year. EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT. It really upset me to find this out because I did not know what EVERYBODY else knew. I’m humble but sometimes I think EVERBODY else is wrong. When I think everybody else is wrong I can’t sleep, I watch cable TV, I wake up in that creek outside of Ralph Wilson Stadium. Sometimes I also research stuff.

My opening statement here is, the Miami Dolphins spent $157,908,750 in free agency contracts. Not 200 Million or a quarter of a billion. Next is the $ amount doesn’t matter the number of players does. 2 players with 75M contracts will “GEL” easier than 30 players with small contracts. Somebody tell me how the Ravens won the Superbowl last year when they were the 4th highest FA spending team with the 3rd largest number of FA signings. JED’s or jellifying-enhancing drugs were ruled out by testing.

So where did they other 2012 playoff teams rank by number of FA signings from the field of 32?

1^st Patriots, 3^rd Baltimore, 8^th Redskins, 11^th Denver, 16^th Seattle, 18^th Cincinati, 21^st Atlanta, 22^nd Houston, 25^th Vikings, 27^th Colts, 29^th 49ers, 30th Green Bay. So the final 4 in the Conference Championships ranked 1^st, 3^rd, 22^nd, and 29^th. That’s a tight enough group to draw conclusions from?
I’m feeling that if Tannehill starts connecting with Wallace for 50+ yards a few times a week it won’t matter if they’re gelling or baking cookies. Find a new reason to doom the Dolphins from the playoffs because this need to “GEL” doesn’t do it. For the record 20 teams signed more FA’s in 2013 than the Miami Dolphins.

Spot The Looney

Disclaimer: Only that Sportrac.com premium content was used as a data source. All charts and interactive spreadsheets that were created used this data to sort and compile team rankings.