Oh boy, this season really has had it all, from dizzying highs to soul crushing lows. Good teams, bad teams and some good old fashioned hatred…Let’s get right after it.
In last place. The Dolphins. I heard someone send a personal request to Jay The Don’t Care Dolphin that he retire before Sunday, because his life was not going to get any better than it was after beating the Pats. That person was right, Jay went right back to being Jay and completely soiled himself, throwing three picks and zero TDS. The Fins are technically still in the playoff race (you know, if half the league suddenly drops dead, they would be in), but really the only question left to be answered is whether or not the Fins continue their tradition of getting a new head coach for each season that begins in an even numbered year. Personally, think Gase is over his head and the Fins need to get the consistency of a guy like Marvin Lewis, or if they are lucky, Jeff Fisher.
Second to last, the Jets. The Jets lost to the Saints, and I’m not going to knock them for it. Obviously the Saints are a better team, especially with Bryce Petty starting at QB for the Jets. So let’s talk about what we saw and what we learned about the Jets’ future. Firstly, Bryce Petty is not the guy, they have to go back into the draft and grab the next guy in line that will surely return the Jets to glory. For the last 20 or so years, the Jets have been clearly the second best team in this division, it’s time they started acting like it…That’s all I’ve got. Does anyone really care about the Jets? I didn’t think so.
On to the winners.
Or as I should say when introducing our second place team, the “winners”…The Pats stole a victory in Pittsburgh over the weekend in what was one of the best games that has been played in the NFL this season. The Pats opened the game by making it look easy; forcing a punt, then cruising right down the field for a TD. Then Brady started to show his age, the offensive line showed their lack of talent and Stephon Gilmore reminded us all that he sucks and it was a horrible mistake to give him all that money (I even heard some idiot on the radio Monday morning calling for his outright release from the team…). The Steelers gave the Pats everything they could handle, even after Antonio Brown got hurt (something Ben says that he should know better than to do…). As tends to happen with two teams that are fairly evenly matched, this game came down to coaching and boy oh boy, watching Mike Tomlin attempt to match wits with Belichick is just sad. Lucky for the Pats, the only people in the world that thought there was any chance Jessie James’ catch would be overturned were sitting on the Steeler sideline. Ben had his hat on (having received confirmation of the catch from a camera man), Tomlin was kicking it to the sweet jams of Jewel (he loves her teeth, makes him feel that she’s attainable) and Haley was just stroking his beard. Obviously, the catch was overturned, then the clown show ensued. Pats win.
And the big winner of the week, the Bills. You know how these things work, the Bills have now beaten two teams that have embarrassed the Pats, therefore they are two times the Pats’ superior. The Bills had to entertain the high flying Dolphins and with the way that the Fins had dismantled the vaunted Pats just last week, there weren’t many rational fans out there that figured the Bills had a shot. But McD was just silently clapping in his mind as he lured the Dolphins into his tuna net. The Bills then spring the trap and the next thing you knew, the game was over and there were nothing but charred Dolphin carcasses strewn about the field. Now the Bills get their chance to go to Foxboro and exact their revenge on Gronkowski and company. The Bills are playing for something in late December, something their fans are not used to. The rest of the league should be afraid, very afraid.
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