Well, it’s hurricane season and things are still wild. Every team got to play this week, which is nice for some fans and horrifying for others. Let’s not waste any time.
In last place, possibly setting up a permanent residence a la Celine Dion in Vegas – the New York Jets. Now this might be breaking news for some of you, but the Jets are incredibly bad at football. I had predicted prior to the season that they would screw up being terrible and somehow win enough games to draft outside the top 3, but I may have been mistaken. The most life the Jets showed this week was when they were crying about Marshawn Lynch dancing on the sidelines, what a bunch of babies. To the stats, Quarterback Josh McCown nearly topped 200 yards if you add his 31 rushing yards to the putrid total he put up through the air, he also lost a fumble. As did something named K. Raymond. The defense was especially rank as well. The vaunted front seven that they spent the better part of the last decade building combined for exactly 0.0 sacks on Derek Carr and the secondary, led by the LSU bust connection barely laid a finger on one of his passes. Todd Bowles is lucky he wasn’t awake t witness this disaster.
Next to last is the one and only Buffalo Bills. The Bills lost a pitcher’s duel to the Carolina Panthers, where the Bills’ juggernaut offense totaled less yards than Josh McCown. How does that make you feel Bills fans? This game was gross, some delusional fans will say that the Bills wasted a brilliant defensive performance, but what they don’t realize is that it’s going to take a similar performance every week if the Bills have a prayer of winning another game until the Jets come back to town. Hey at least the pass rush was good. I don’t really know what else to say about this game except that Sammy would have caught it.
Two winners this week (just as I predicted on Sunday morning).
First up, the Fins. It’s been a rough go to the start of the 2017 season for the Sea Mammals from Miami, first the hurricane cancelling their week 1 tilt in Tampa, thus forcing them to play 16 straight games this year, then their big free agent acquisition Lawrence Timmons just up and went AWOL. This story is f*cked on so many levels, what pissed him off so bad that he left? Was he really hanging out up at Steelers practice with the Hernandez sympathizers during the “bye” week? Is it true that his absence was really due to him hiding out from gang members that believe he had something to do with the Odin Lloyd murder? Is it true that he was found in a secret passage underneath a flop house in Long Beach? We’ll never know, especially after the rambling press conference the team held to address the issue. Oh yeah, there was a football game as well. The Dolphins beat the Clippers. Jay looked OK, the WRs did wat we expect. Jarvis caught a lot of balls for a medium amount of yards, Parker caught a few ball for nearly the exact amount and Stills stole the only TD. Ajayi still looks good, that’s weird to me. I’m not used to Dolphin players having repeat success.
And the Pats. Returned to their rightful place atop the division (only in these rankings, we know the Bills technically hold a tiebreaker that won’t matter in about 5 days). Here in Boston they’re calling it a “bounce back game.” I on the other hand am calling it a game against the Saints. The Pats needed only to roll out three wide receivers to thrash that terribly team. It’s nice to see Brady shred an opposing defense for 400 plus yards and three 1st quarter TDs, but it’s kind of hard to get too geeked about it when it’s the Saints’ defense, which hasn’t been good since Katrina. The Pats defense was OK, hard to give them a lot of credit for beating up on what is likely the worst O-Line in the league and a HC/QB combo of Peyton/ Brees that is fighting for the title of worst overrated thing since Breaking Bad. All in all, a win is a win and the Pats get to fest on Clemson Guy DeShaun Watson next week.
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