Wow, what a week! Two big interdivisional matchups with stunning results. So let’s get right to it.
In last place, we find the New Jersey Jets. All week we were told how much different the Jets are with STD at QB. How now that his various infections have been tamed, the Jets’ offense would be henceforth unstoppable. Then Sam ran into the Boogie Men. STD was as bad as a QB can be on Monday night, in front of a national audience. He gave his team no chance to win, because he was completely confused by the Patriots’ defense. All night he shifted his protection away from the Pats’ blitz, then wildly threw off his back foot, either directly into the hands of a defensive back, or about 6 rows into the stands. On the night, STD completed about 33% of his passes, threw 4 interceptions, lost a fumble and allowed a snap to sail over his head for a safety. God it feels good to be right.
The other loser of the week is the Buffalo Bills. I know, they did technically end up with a higher score than the Dolphins but come on man; allowing a team that is openly trying to lose every game to have a 4th quarter lead on you (for the 2nd time this year mind you), is completely unacceptable. Especially when your fans are trying to convince the football viewing public that your team is actually good. On the plus side, Josh Allen didn’t turn the ball over, but it appears that the coach that I have actually praised this season allowed his team to take too much time off and read their press clippings on the bye week. McD had better get his shit together or this team is going to lose games to bad teams because they think that they are good enough to just show up and win. News flash Bills players, you’re not.
On to the winners.
The Fins dodged a bullet this week and very narrowly escaped with a loss. I seriously considered putting them in the losers bracket this week because they have even slipped out of the bottom spot in a few power rankings and have lost their grip on the #1 pick for the time being. Thankfully, Brian Flores learned from his master too always look at the big picture and was once again able to craft an innovative way to ensure his team lost. This time with a truly glorious attempt at an “Onside kick” that the Bills were easily able to return for a touchdown. Now, if he could only get rid of some of these pesky players that refuse to buy into the plan, everything would be OK. The trade deadline is under a week away, they had better jettison some guys quick, or all of this hard work will have been for naught.
And in first place, The Pats. It appears that Bill Belichick spent his week printing out newspaper headlines about the greatness of STD and the Jets to place in his players’ lockers. Because they came out hot. Opening the game with an 8+ minute TD drive that essentially sealed the game, the offense looked a little better than it has in weeks past. Brady was a bit better than average (although he did throw an interception because he held onto the ball too long looking to put a knife in Jets’ fans hearts). But the offense is not the news, the defense is. Dating back to the Super Bowl, the Patriots’ defense has allowed 30 points. Yes, that’s 30 points in 8 complete NFL games. That’s fairly ridiculous. Even if you throw in the 14 points the offense/ special teams has given to their opponents, they still are only giving up just over 5 points per game. At some point, even though the rest of the league blows, we are going to have to accept that they are doing something special. 19-0 or Bust Baby!!!
Editor’s Note: Vinny is a dick.
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