Good morning! Another week is in the books and what a week it was. We sure did see some shitty football out of our favorite teams this week, so let’s get right to it.
In last place, the Jets. Come on man, I thought the return of STD was going to cure all the Jets’ ailments? But no, once again Sam sucked terrifically. In his two games since returning from his battle with a sexually transmitted disease, Sam has turned the ball over 8 times and is pushing Baker Mayfield for the crown of “Most Disappointing Sophomore QB”. What else is there to say about the Jets except that they are the Jets. They even tried really hard to trade away their only valuable assets at the trade deadline, but failed at that. This franchise really is a disgrace, and I love it. On the plus side Jets fans, once again you’ll be in position to get the “best player in the draft”. Where you will take another DT who will shoot his way out of town in three years.
Next up, the Buffalo Bills. This is kind of like a homecoming for the Bills, all that time up in the Penthouse must have felt a little uncomfortable. But never fear, losing at home to a depleted and overall shitty Eagles team has put you right back where you are back where you belong. The Bills vaunted defense has been getting steadily worse over the past few weeks, culminating in the absolute embarrassment that they produced on Sunday. Getting gashed for over 200 yards by a team that presents very little threat to throw the ball is just so Bills. Now let’s talk about the offense…good news, Josh Allen didn’t turn the ball over. Bad news, everything else. The Bills were completely inefficient in everything they tried, which is funny because the Eagles also have no secondary or defensive line, but that’s what happens when you have a supremely average QB just doing everything in his power to not hand the ball to the other team. There have been many jokes about the last time the Bills started 5-1…Is history going to repeat itself?
On to the winners.
The Miami Dolphins started real slow on Monday night against the Steelers. When they jumped out to that early 14 point lead, I though there was areal chance that the tank could end right then and there. But, some truly innovative defensive playcalling got the boys right back in the game by halftime. Then it was just the simple matter of throwing a few more interceptions and dropping a few more fumbles and the loss was secured. It is truly commendable what the Fins were able to accomplish on Monday, it’s not everyone that can out-dimwit Mike Tomlin on a Monday night. But by trusting the process, the Fins were able to persevere.
And the Pats. The Pats are in first because, well they are undefeated and no one else seems to want to step up and take the crown from them. It’s become comical really, the Pats might actually be the fist team in history that could literally just roll the balls out on the field and go home a few hours later with a win. The Browns proved that most assuredly on Sunday by turning the ball back over to the Pats on literally their first three plays from scrimmage. Snap one, Chubb runs into his own guy, who kicks the ball out of Chubb’s hand. Hightower just picks the ball up from laying at his feet and walks into the endzone. Snap two, Chubb makes a great run, breaks several tackles and carries the ball about 40 yards downfield to the Pats’ 15 or so where Jonathan Jones punches it out from behind and one of the McCourty brothers falls on it. Snap three, Baker Mayfield literally tosses the ball, underhand, to Lawrence Guy. Who looks very surprised, but accepts the gift anyway. At that point it was 17-0 and the game was all but over. See ya in Miami.
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