Another quality week in the AFC East. It’s a nice change to have been able to say that so many times this season. Once again, the teams in the division went 3-1, you can’t ask for more than that (especially since we had a divisional game in the mix). Let’s get right to it:
Like your angry, drunk uncle; the Jets have moved back into the basement. It really seems that they were upset that someone had moved in on their turf last week and were determined to not let it happen again. The Jets played OK for about a quarter and a half, then said to themselves, “Fuck you, we’re not giving up our seat in the basement ever again.” Then they just laid down and quit on their fans, their city and each other. This team is a disgrace really. They have a lot of talent, but their “leaders” are overpaid and have infected the entire roster. It’s going to be a rough time for the Jets as they try and rebuild. They’ve locked themselves into some egregious contracts with fat, old guys who just don’t care anymore and then there is their super talented group of young players who now give so few fucks about the team that they might actually be born again virgins. Dig in jets fans, it’s gonna be a while before your team is good again. Oh, and your QB of the future is hurt again, so great work O-Line…
Whew, just one piece of crap to write about today. On to the winners!
In third place, we find the Fins. Aww screw it, it’s Christmas. In a tie for second place, we find the Miami Dolphins! The Fins took the field behind Matt Moore’s sweet mustache and the man who forced his wife into labor last Monday so that he wouldn’t miss any meetings carved up the Jets to the tune of four TD passes. (something Lauren’s Husband hasn’t achieved in years) The Dolphins looked rejuvenated playing with an elite QB for once and when Matt’s Stache stuffed Bilal Powell on that 4th down attempt (brilliant challenge base Gase by the way), the writing was on the wall. The Fins dominated the hapless Jets for the rest of the game. Matt’s Stache even turned a little 4-yard slant into a 50+ yd TD pass. How’s that for throwing the deep ball bitch? The Fins still have hope in the playoff chase (I believe that if the season ended today they would be in), but it’s not going to be easy. Their next opponents are playing to save next season’s Dave & Buster’s membership and then their final opponent may be looking to lock up home field advantage. Hey, at least it’s been an interesting season.
And the other team tied for second place is the Bills. Reports on Sunday morning were that Rexy was to be fired on Monday morning. But lucky for him, the bills got to play the Browns and he staved off execution for yet another week. I mean if handling the Browns doesn’t show ownership that you are definitely the man for the job, what else could? I’m starting to feel bad for Shady McCoy. The poor guy is awesome at football and he’s been forced to play in crap situation after crap situation. When does he turn 30? Maybe then he’ll get to come to Foxborough and play for a winner. I will say this for the Bills, they are playing for their coach. It really appears that the players want Rex to stay (and there is nothing to confirm the rumors that it’s just because they love watching he and Rob’s Wednesday morning eating contests), so if they can find a way to win out, Bills fans might get what their hearts desire; at least one more year of Rex.
And now for the Champions of the division. Not only for this week, but for the 8th consecutive year (these other teams should really try and step it up…); The New England Patriots. It seems that the Pats may have learned how to play defense. They utterly bamboozled the Broncos’ offense, holding them to three points and moving to 1st place in the points allowed stat in the league. This is something that no one could have expected just a few short weeks ago. It looks like Jamie Collins really was the problem…I even heard the fellas on the radio talking about Tre Flowers being “The new Chandler Jones”, I actually sent a Tweet to one of them (I used to work there and am “friends” with the guys) reminding him that Flowers could not possibly be the next Jones, for he actually shows up on 3rd down. It also looks like Dion Lewis may be getting back to 100%. The diminutive running back had one of the best rushing games of his career on Sunday against one of the better defenses in the league (OK, they suck against the run, but cut me some slack). Long story short, if the Pats handle their business in the final two games and lock up home field advantage for the playoffs, Pats fans may as well book their hotel rooms in Houston now because they will be returning to the Super Bowl.
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